i think that saying "there is no friend zone" might be going just a bit too far... what i would say is that on a few rare occasions, there have been cases where certain types of women (and probably men too) have relegated an otherwise good person to "friend only" for various reasons that may have seemed good to them, but were actually unfair to the person be put there. But a lot of guys then took those few rare occasions and turned it into ammunition to try to use it against women (and again, perhaps vice versa)
I've seen women reject otherwise "good guys' and "only want to be friends" when in fact they wanted to "keep the guy in reserve, in case it doesn't work out with *hot guy number one*" but it's extremely rare... unfortunately, guys who have seen this then go overboard and assume any woman that doesn't want a sexual relationship with them in particular is "friend zoning" them...
As for women wanting assholes (or men wanting bitches)... most of time, the person is an asshole (or bitch) only BECAUSE they got chosen rather than the one labelling them... the guy is an asshole precisely because he's got the girl and you don't (or again vice versa with bitches)
Also, men do it too, no probably about it, one case that always come to mind was of a not very attractive girl who let this guy borrow money and use her car on the idea they were boyfriend and girlfriend (dude played this up) -- he promptly used her car to drive other women around and also spent her money on said honeys. Again, it's just mean spirited manipulation -- no zones required.
oh yeah, I've seen that too, in both directions (but more often men using women they don't actually find attractive) (or maybe that's just the cases I have seen)
But I still would not go so far as to say nobody (male or female) has kept someone as a friend rather than pursuing a relationship for various reasons other than a lack of sexual attraction... I know of a few cases at least where the person even admitted outright they were keeping someone around as "back up" in case the person they were actually chasing didn't work out... that is what i would call "friend zoning" and yes, it is just extremely rare, and then people who aren't happy with their own situation try to blame every failed pursuit on this principle (which is not a "principle" at all, just something that very rarely occurs...
Not saying it doesn't happen -- I just don't like the term FRIEND ZONE--cause I think people misapply it to innocent people who have done nothing wrong. I think we should just call it what it is -- manipulation.
I would say that I just don't like the friend zone concept in general. People are manipulative -- manipulation fits. The friend zone ideology muddies relationships waters and places animosity in this realm where it doesn't need to exist. In regards to people who want assholes and bitches -- if they are that immature fuck them. There are plenty of men and women who want quality folks. Others need not apply. People get too hung up on idiots when they need to move on and not take shit out on the next guy or girl who did nothing to them.
well, as i said, I think it does happen, but it's so rare as to be not worth actually making a big deal of it, and some people just try to use the rare cases to their own advantage (or to make themselves feel better about themselves)
the "friendzone" thing makes no sense because by definition if a guy is complaining about being in the friendzone then they're not a genuine friend, they're someone pretending to be a friend to get sex - which is lame so no wonder it doesn't work. being a "nice guy" as a *tactic* to get sex isn't being "nice" it's just a tactic to get sex - pretty much the opposite of nice.
10% of it isn't fake, it's guys who read somewhere that women want a man to be "sensitive" and they take that to mean wimpy. no one likes wimpy. the thing about bad boys isn't so much the "bad" bit but the *confident* bit. confident non-wimpy nice guys do fine.
Thank you, and couldn't agree more. Yeah, my hubby is a very nice man--a great dad an awesome hubby -- but he is not wimpy. He is caring as well as strong. I mean, no guy would want a basket case girl who whines all the time and clings like a vine. We want healthy, confident partners. And we also want and desire compatibility. With billions of ppl on the planet it just takes a lot to get to a point of finding that "soul mate" as it were....patience is usually rewarded.
Oh don't get me wrong there are some girls who want "bad boys" just as there are guys who like "Bad girls" Both say it is due to the fact that they find them more exciting. Yeah--like a rattle snake--lol! No thanks! The reality is it is hard to find ppl we are compatible with--and good ppl are even harder to find. This is why it takes a long time to find a mate. I was 35 when I met and married my hubby...
Oh you *awwws* hugs. And you'll get there. It may take time but finding something long lasting o and of quality is worth the wait. In the interim have fun doing things you want. Once you pair up you'll have to think about your partners needs as well...